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Dead or Alive 5

I wish I could say it’s a quantum leap from previous DOA’s, but it isn’t. Though to be quite honest, I don’t think anyone would want that. It’s DOA. It plays like DOA.

It has nice environments. It reminded me more of DOA3 than DOA4, and I guess that’s a good thing. At least it isn’t a Ninja Gaiden 3-stylee travesty.
 

Lollypop Chainsaw

Not the greatest hacky-slashy game ever, but competent at what it does. I get the feeling that playing it in a loud exhibition room means I missed out on the incredibly repetitive voicework during gameplay which has been reported elsewhere.

May have frame rate problems. Phorenzik will be pleased!
 

Steel Battalion

Didn’t play it myself, sat next to somebody else I know and watched him. He got incredibly frustrated with the whole thing.

You use a pad to move and fire but any other controls which would originally be on a lovely giant peripheral now require you to “pull out” from the view port and operate them with Kinect. It’s horribly unintuitive.

“We made this game with hardcore players in mind”, said the PR monkey. No you didn’t, if you did it’d have a dedicated controller.
 

Fat Cosplayers

Look, I’m a big man… But for crying out loud people, 3 words – size appropriate cosplay.

NOBODY wants to see a fat Felicia from Darkstalkers.
 

Far too many “Free Hugs” Signs

When dressing like Fat Sailor Moon (as a dude) isn’t enough – My attempt at subverting this with a “FREE DISDAIN” sign didn’t work. So I tried “FREE NELSON MANDELA” instead…

IT DIDN’T EVEN RAISE A FUCKING CHUCKLE.

I get the feeling I may have been playing to an audience that was far, FAR too young.